Being Stretched

Well, our family is about a month into this seminary/youth ministry/living-as-an-adult-with-your parents thing... and it is something else!

I have never felt as alive as I feel in my studies.  The affirmation that God injects into my day and my classes lets me know that I am doing the right thing.  And lets me know how little I know!  That was actually one of the things I was really looking forward to prior to heading to school... the lack of knowledge.   I thought that it might just let God work in way that I couldn't predict. Before I left for school, a few friends made a joke about a theologian, but I had no idea who they were talking about, and started to get quite self-conscious about how little I knew.  Was I going to be in way over my head?  So here are some things I have learned:

My small view of God is completely inadequate.  God is bigger than anything I could ever comprehend.  He is reflected in every person we come across, in every piece of creation and has His hand in everything that provides real sustenance and joy.  God will never fit into some neat story, and I'm never going to figure him out all the way, but I can forever live in His world and continue to seek out new facets of his character.

God has me working with students during this time for a reason.  When this started in the summer, I felt like I was just doing this out of the need that the church had, and I knew I could fill it.  Brian Z.  saw something different... and so did Brad.   The students that I have the privilage of getting to know give me such confidence in the fact that God continues to work.  They are compassionate and smart and witty and trying to find out who God is calling them to be.  How they fit in to his project.  I learn so much from walking through life with them!  Who knows if this is a door into something bigger, or if it's just a gifting I've received during this season... but I love it!

I couldn't do this alone.  We recognized pretty quickly how much this was going to be... and not just from the bug-eyes I got from second or third-years when I told them how many hours I was at LCC and how many classes I was taking.  But again, God put people in my life who are walking this same road.  He gave us a home with a family who cares for our physical needs and gives us a chance to feel settled.  He has provided me with a husband who is open to communicating and trying new ways of connecting, when our traditional avenues are shot.  He has given me life-long friends who I don't need to put on airs for.  We can sit in sweats and cry and drink wine, or they watch Brady so I can cram for a test.  God has provided it all.

Yes, I am halfway through my first semester of classes, and there has been a lot of other learning that's gone on.  But it's not the important stuff.  Walks in the park with Brady, or making waffles on Saturday mornings... unplugging from my music to observe the life of the city in passing and times of rest with friends... I am seeing God more clearly in these things than ever.  That's what really matters.