Living in Two Realities

Psalm 40: 1-5

I waited patiently for the Lord;

   he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 

  out of the mud and the mire;

he set my feet on a rock,

  and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

  a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

  and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man 

  who makes the Lord his trust;

who does not look to the proud,

  to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, O Lord my God,

  are the wonders you have done

The things you planned for us

  no one can recount to you;

were I to speak and tell of them,

  they would be too many to declare.

Like I've mentioned countless times before, life with Brady is sure different than I pictured it being.  It isn't bad at all- God has shown up in ways that I know wouldn't have presented themselves if everything would have gone according to our plans.  And honestly, most of the time I'm not even aware of the fact that our life isn't "normal".  Then I'll get emails from "the bump", telling me about what milestones my child is probably tackling at 13 months.  Or get Brady's 12-month check up pre-evaluation form in the mail, where we have to rate how well he's able to perform certain social, communication or physical skills.  And I have to check off "not yet" more often than I would have thought.  That's when it really hits me and I start giving all of my insecurities shapes through my words and thoughts.  

I've always been pretty competitive, which I think is part of why this is such a challenge for me.  I'm so thrilled to hear about my friends' 8-month old that's walking, but part of me is crushed, knowing that Brady won't be there for a while.  Or when people tell me that it's good we started having kids early, because by the time our kid is ready to go to college, we'll still be young and want to have fun.  Except that there's a pretty high likely hood that Brady won't go to a traditional college.  Don't get me wrong- we WANT to know and celebrate with you and your little ones, so keep sharing!  These are just the thoughts that run through my very human and imperfect mind.

And yet, God is always there, putting these reminders in my path that we are right where we're supposed to be, and we're there with the perfect kid for it.  He is humbling my spirit, and slowly chipping away at my pride that was (and still is in many ways) based in things that this world values.  I am ecstatic to find Brady pulling himself up on couches and tables and chairs instead of fretting that he might hurt himself.  I don't care that he blows raspberries in my face when his mouth is full of some pureed gunk, because a) raspberries mean that he's using his mouth muscles to communicate something, ANYTHING, and b) he's eating and eating really well!  When Brad calls me at work to give me therapy updates from that day, I feel so lucky to be so informed about how we can work with our child to help him develop to his full potential. 

So, yes, our milestones are very different, and maybe if we have another child, I'll get to experience the other side of that coin.  But I'm very happy to be living in this present time and seeing God's plan for us unfold.

- Meghan

Brady and I at Covenant Harbor last weekend!

Brady's 1!

So, about a month ago, we celebrated Brady's first birthday.  What a day it was!  We were surrounded by friends and family as we ran and walked the Gigi's Playhouse 5k & 1 Mile Walk.  It was an incredible experience; there were so many people there who were walking along side of or in honor of, someone with Down Syndrome.  While I have definitely been made more aware of people who have been touched by DS, I haven't been able to visualize it quite like I did that day.

The Brady Bunch raised over $2300.  How incredible is that?!  I am blown away by the way that God is working through Brady's life.  My mom asked me tonight if I can believe this is my life... and honestly, if I stop and think about it, no, I can't.  But I couldn't imagine my life being as good without Brady.

I appreciate every little thing.  The fact that he's half-crawling now, after 7 months of PT.  The fact that since we've been working with his speech therapist, he's now eating real food and making strong consonant sounds.  The fact that he know what little phrases like, "hands up!", or "give me a kiss!" means.  I get it.  Every mom probably gets excited about these things, so I don't claim to be unique in that.  But I just feel like we work so hard, and it makes these little victories seem so profound.

I am reminded about what it means to live as a disciple of Christ daily.  There is an ability in our culture to live in a very self-centered way.  Having Brady kind of takes that away immediately.  Instead, I am aware of what it feels like to be marginalized, and forced to think outside of what I know.  All the time, I am relying on those around me who have carried us and lived out the Word.

It got me out of my comfort zone.  I miss the city every day.  Having to drive everywhere isn't my favorite, and it's easy to go from garage to work to garage and not have relationships along the way.  Thankfully, God didn't wire me that way, and He has put some of the most impactful people in our lives since we've moved to the 'burbs.  I have been stretched, challenged and grown more than almost any time in my life.  We moved because we were having a baby and I didn't want Brad to commute.  We're staying because it turns out God was in control of that decision the whole time and this is exactly where we're called to be right now.

So, thank you for all of you who have prayed us through our first year.  I would ask that you would pray for Sophia, a friend's baby who is in the NICU after being born 16 weeks early.  We know all to well what that feels like, and I have faith that the same Healer who placed His hand on Brady can do the same for her.

Here are some pictures from Brady's birthday weekend... enjoy!

The Brady Bunch!

The baseball team Brad coaches came out to run

Proud parents with a curious baby

He didn't hate it! (I made his shirt. Super cute, but embroidery is not easy on the fingers!)

All four of my grandparents (Brady's great grandparents) were able to come.
What a blessing!

I loved this cake from Lovin' Oven, a local cakery.  It was delish too!