A New Normal

Two years ago, my life looked like this: wake up at 4:45 am, go for a 10-12 mile run with my dad, go to work, go shopping or run errands or just hang out with my girlfriends, head to dinner or a bar for a few hours, maybe play in my Thursday evening sand volleyball league or a Tuesday night softball league, and go to bed.  Repeat.  In most regards, this was pretty sweet.  I was in the best shape ever, did what I wanted, spent my money on what I wanted and lived a carefree life.

Now, Brad and I wake up at 4:45 because that's when Brady gets up, juggle the responsibilities of getting both ourselves and Brady ready, get out the door, work, try to get in a quick 40 minute work out in (not so much running for me anymore, my knee won't allow that), make dinner, clean up the house, bathe Brady, get him to bed, and go to bed ourselves.  Now add random doctor's appointments and medication dispenses and you have our life for the past few months.  Not so glamorous.

It's been really hard to live in the suburbs; I don't have friends here that I can call to do little things like run to Target or grab coffee, and I struggle with what I need to do (or not do) for Brady's good... can I keep him out, even though it interferes with his nap schedule?  Is it ok to bring him around other people now?  Will he get sick again? 

Today was the first day that I felt normal.  I got up and ran a 5k with my dad in a suburb that was about halfway for both of us (and ran it pretty well!), went to church with Brad & Brady where I had a really wonderful conversation with another mom, came home and got some food ready for a function that got cancelled.  The Meghan of a few months ago probably would have tried to get things done, played with Brady at home and waited for Brad to get home... and not-so-secretly resenting him for being gone coaching.  But Brady was feeling great, the sun was shining, and I stopped feeling sorry for myself.  We went to the park and on a really long walk and I just felt free.

I understand that there are going to be times when life once again seems too heavy to carry, when people tell us that our son isn't normal... but our perspectives of normal shift all the time, don't they?  I am just glad that we have a healthy little 10 month old, a marriage that is being strengthened all the time and sunny days coming our way.  Everything else is what you make of it, and I'm happy to try to make it the best.