A New Normal

Two years ago, my life looked like this: wake up at 4:45 am, go for a 10-12 mile run with my dad, go to work, go shopping or run errands or just hang out with my girlfriends, head to dinner or a bar for a few hours, maybe play in my Thursday evening sand volleyball league or a Tuesday night softball league, and go to bed.  Repeat.  In most regards, this was pretty sweet.  I was in the best shape ever, did what I wanted, spent my money on what I wanted and lived a carefree life.

Now, Brad and I wake up at 4:45 because that's when Brady gets up, juggle the responsibilities of getting both ourselves and Brady ready, get out the door, work, try to get in a quick 40 minute work out in (not so much running for me anymore, my knee won't allow that), make dinner, clean up the house, bathe Brady, get him to bed, and go to bed ourselves.  Now add random doctor's appointments and medication dispenses and you have our life for the past few months.  Not so glamorous.

It's been really hard to live in the suburbs; I don't have friends here that I can call to do little things like run to Target or grab coffee, and I struggle with what I need to do (or not do) for Brady's good... can I keep him out, even though it interferes with his nap schedule?  Is it ok to bring him around other people now?  Will he get sick again? 

Today was the first day that I felt normal.  I got up and ran a 5k with my dad in a suburb that was about halfway for both of us (and ran it pretty well!), went to church with Brad & Brady where I had a really wonderful conversation with another mom, came home and got some food ready for a function that got cancelled.  The Meghan of a few months ago probably would have tried to get things done, played with Brady at home and waited for Brad to get home... and not-so-secretly resenting him for being gone coaching.  But Brady was feeling great, the sun was shining, and I stopped feeling sorry for myself.  We went to the park and on a really long walk and I just felt free.

I understand that there are going to be times when life once again seems too heavy to carry, when people tell us that our son isn't normal... but our perspectives of normal shift all the time, don't they?  I am just glad that we have a healthy little 10 month old, a marriage that is being strengthened all the time and sunny days coming our way.  Everything else is what you make of it, and I'm happy to try to make it the best.

Living Through the Ordinary Times

It seems as though I haven't posted in forever... life goes by so quickly these days! After a successful post-op visit with Brady's cardiac surgery team, he has been cleared! No more visits with that group of doctors, and pending anything crazy, he should be able to just keep growing! It was such a relief to leave and not have the next thing waiting for us. I drove with Brady on northbound Lake Shore Drive at noon on Thursday, and there was such promise in the air. The sun was so bright, and all of the Chicagoans who have had to trudge through this oh-so-long winter were filling up the lakefront path. I said a prayer of thanks, and was content.

Entering back into the day to day of work, baseball practices, day care and life isn't something I'm dreading. I am aware of however, of how easily that routine breaks down the spiritual life that has been breaking through every crevice as we have walked this extraordinary road for the last 10 months. As I've said before, it's easy to rely on God when there isn't anything else to do. Yet, I find that my mindset, language, intent, my being, is being changed through this too...and I don't want to let that slip away.

I bought a book recently about enacting spiritual practices in my life ("Authentic: Developing the Disciplines of a Sincere Faith", by James MacDonald"), which is something that I don't actually have too much background in. When I was growing up, that wasn't something that was developed in me- at no ones fault, it just wasn't part of what was taught. At dinner with a friend last night, he said that a Catholic had shared with him (regarding the daily practices that may seem rote & without meaning to those outside the church) that they help carry you through the valleys and protect you from crashing on the peaks. I'm excited to have God teach, grow and restructure me to a faith that is steady and true.

We would love to hear your stories about developing your faith in the "normal" times... I've been so encouraged by the ways God's people have mobilized and shared through this whole ordeal, and I'd hate for it to stop now!

And please- if there are ways we can specifically pray for you, let us know.

Until next time!